Mistress of the Art of Death by Ariana Franklin.

Week 19 concludes my list. I mean, I’m not really done – I haven’t read ‘em all – but reading stuff other people chose was getting tiring. Time I choose myself. I do feel like I’m pretty good at choosing books I like (and dislike… I chose Marked after all!) so from now on, I read mostly what I want. I am reading some stuff from the list that I wanted to read anyway (like the Princess Bride and Confessions of an Ugly Step Sister). But let’s get the last week of obeying the list over with. This is Mistress of the Art of Death by Ariana Franklin.

Title: Dødens herskerinde
Original title: Mistress of the Art of Death
By: Ariana Franklin
Pages: 378
Published by Aschehoug Dansk forlag 2007
First published 2007

A chilling, mesmerizing novel that combines the best of modern forensic thrillers with the detail and drama of historical fiction.

In medieval Cambridge, England, four children have been murdered. The crimes are immediately blamed on the town’s Jewish community, taken as evidence that Jews sacrifice Christian children in blasphemous ceremonies. To save them from the rioting mob, the king places the Cambridge Jews under his protection and hides them in a castle fortress. King Henry I is no friend of the Jews-or anyone, really-but he is invested in their fate. Without the taxes received from Jewish merchants, his treasuries would go bankrupt. Hoping scientific investigation will exonerate the Jews, Henry calls on his cousin the King of Sicily-whose subjects include the best medical experts in Europe-and asks for his finest “master of the art of death,” an early version of the medical examiner. The Italian doctor chosen for the task is a young prodigy from the University of Salerno. But her name is Adelia-the king has been sent a mistress of the art of death.

Adelia and her companions-Simon, a Jew, and Mansur, a Moor-travel to England to unravel the mystery of the Cambridge murders, which turn out to be the work of a serial killer, most likely one who has been on Crusade with the king. In a backward and superstitious country like England, Adelia must conceal her true identity as a doctor in order to avoid accusations of witchcraft. Along the way, she is assisted by Sir Rowley Picot, one of the king’s tax collectors, a man with a personal stake in the investigation. Rowley may be a needed friend, or the fiend for whom they are searching. As Adelia’s investigation takes her into Cambridge’s shadowy river paths and behind the closed doors of its churches and nunneries, the hunt intensifies and the killer prepares to strike again .

***

Rating on Goodreads: (liked it)

Right, finally. Only took me a coulple of weeks *cough* Right, so seeing as this is a review, I guess it all boils down to whether or not I like the book. So… do I?

Short answer: no.

Long answer: actually kind of yes but then not but… Right, let’s just do it the usual way.
So, what I expected from this book and what I got was very different. I expected a pretty straightforward, simple crime story set in Medieval England. What I got was historical fiction with a crime story, sorta. It’s not really a bad thing, but when your expectations are turned around like this, you can’t help but feel a certain disappointment. Before we talk more about that, though, let’s talk about the stuff I usually do.

First off the writing, which I found to be confusing. Sometimes, I found that another thing was happening while I thought that other stuff was happening. Some sentences were downright clumsy, but it’s hard to say whether it’s the writer’s fault or the translater. It’s generally very beautiful prose with some effective descriptions, but at the same time it was just difficult to keep track of what was going on. The narrative was sort of all over the place.

When it comes to the characters, they are actually nice and memorable, which is one reason this book is not a one or a two. I like them well enough, the main character probably less so, and they added some to the story. When I say I probably didn’t like the main character much, it’s because she suffers from that all too common problem: the author just liked her too much. She is taken too seriously and thus I can’t take her seriously. Everytime her entire name was mentioned like a sort of title, probably to sound cool, it just seemed melodramatic and I kind of giggled. Other than that – the other characters were neat and good fun. It’s not like Franklin is the first to fall in love with her main character.

The story is where I kind of grind to a halt and start really dislinking. There’s a crime story in this book, there really is, and it’s interesting and intriguing and I really like it. It’s just not focused enough. See, Franklin used to write historical fiction and not historical thrillers and it shows, I’m afraid. She has done an absolutely stunning amount of research, and it is impressive as holy applejuice, but I only know this because of the massive infodumping.
Now, I actually like infodumping here and there and this is the first time (except for Clive Cussler) I really see how it can be a disadvantage. There is so much info in there and that would be cool if I read this because it was historical fiction, but I read it for the murder mystery. An intriguing murder mystery that is completely drowned by so much other stuff. It’s description heavy too, and while very poetic and beautiful it’s just way too much.
In the end, the mystery was resolved and I liked the resolve and I liked the mystery, but even after the end of the murder mystery, the story dragged on and on and I just got bored by the last fifty pages.

In the end, I’ll give Franklin that I liked the mystery but there was just not enough of it. Less description of feasts and dresses and pretty rivers and birdies could have made it better for me. I do see a lot of positive reviews on Goodreads, so perhaps I’m just the weird one out. I did like this book, I just wanted more murder mystery and less description of medieval life, but if you don’t agree with me on that, you’ll probably like this very well.

The Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum

Week 17‘s book is The Wizard of Oz, which is the cutes thing you’ll ever read. Yes, I’m really in love with this. It is ridiculously likeable.

Title: The Wizard of Oz
By: L. Frank Baum
Pages: 143
Published by Wordsworth Editions Limited, 1993
First published 1900

When a huge cyclone transports the orphan Dorothy and her little dog Toto from Kansas to the Land of Oz, she fears that she will never see Aunt Em and Uncle Henry ever again.
But she meets the Munchkins, and they tell her to follow the Yellow Brick Road to the Emerald City where the Wonderful Wizard of Oz will grant any wish. On the way, she meets the brainless Scarecrow, the Tin Woodman and the Cowardly Lion. The four friends set off to seek their hearts’ desires, and in a series of action-packed adventures they encounter a deadly poppy field, fierce animals, flying monkeys, a wicked witch, a good witch, and the Mighty Oz himself.

***

Rating on Goodreads: (really liked it)

This is quite possibly the cutest thing I’ve ever read. For such a small book, it’s become a huge classic and it deserves a great review and stuff. I just don’t know what else to say.

What can I say? I like the story, I like the setting and I like the characters. It’s all cute and creative and imaginative. The plot is surprisingly well put together and for such a short book, it’s amazing the characters have actual personalities (mustnotbashbadbooks).

As this review is positive, you all know it’s gonna suck, so I’ll just finish by saying: give this a shot. It’s a two hour read, tops, and it’s well worth it. You’ll be very well entertained all the way through and age is no concern. If you’re a child or a child at heart, you’ll enjoy this very much.

Abarat by Clive Barker

Week 12 and I kind of fail again. I have read this but I should have finished last week. But well, here it is – my review of Abarat of Clive Barker. Ready to find me completely freaked out? Oh, you better be.

Title: Abarat
By: Clive Barker
Pages: 438
Published by Lindhart og Ringhof, 2003,
First published 2002

Candy Quackenbush is a troubled yet good-natured Minnesotan girl, but when she ventures into an empty field one day and meets John Mischief, a creature with seven extra talking heads on his antlers, she’s rendered awestruck and knows she’s bound for a heap of adventure. Soon the two are narrowly escaping a dark hunter sent by the evil Lord Carrion and diving into the Sea of Izabella, a vast ocean containing 25 islands that stand for each hour of the day, plus a mystical Twenty-Fifth Hour. As Candy embarks on her adventure throughout this mind-bending archipelago, she visits the average citizens of Yebba Dim Day, joins a clan of tarrie-cats and slothlike Malingo to battle the dastardly Kaspar Wolfswinkel, and even gets a horrific taste of the Twenty-Fifth Hour itself.

***

Rating on Goodreads: (it was okay)

There are some spoilers in this, so if you plan on reading this, maybe you should leave this for now. The spoilers aren’t very big, though, as there aren’t that many big reveals in this. Anyway – on to the review.

Now, I’m not crazy enough to say that any book would ever drag me into a hellish fantasy land and stab me with a sharpened ruler, but if any book were to do it, I guess this would be it. Let me elaborate…

My overall first impression of this book is that it is weird. Just plain odd. First of all, it’s very heavy because of the paper it’s printed on. Second, I thought it was a children’s book and was surprised at how big it is and (later on) how gritty. Third it’s based on a series of paintings by Barker, paintings that are in the book – I guess it’s supposed to improve the reading experience and to give a certain tone to the story. Personally, I just found them to be in the way (and they sort of embarrassed me when I read this on the bus) and also… they’re a bit disturbing. I’m sorry guys they’re just… they’re creepy. They’re beautiful and all but they’re creepy.

Now, to start talking about writing, the book is already described in heavy detail, and I actually enjoyed the prose more than I did the paintings. If the characters weren’t described that much, the pictures would have been cool, but when they’re already so well described, I don’t need them. I already formed pictures of the characters in my head and I liked my versions better (d’uh, everybody knows the only place I’m truly happy is in my own head).

Also, is it just me, or is the book a bit unaware of its audience? It’s a young adult fantasy book with colourful, childlike (though creepy) images, somehow written in the tone of a children’s book and with some very, very dark details (did I mention the pictures are creepy?). The main character is, I think, around thirteen years old (at least I think she’s in the sixth grade) and she has a father who’s an alcoholic and hits her. That’s… really dark. You pick this book up and the paintings are likely to make you think it’s for kids – heck, that’s what I thought. I’m told this is young adult, but other than the rather grisly details, I don’t feel it – both writing and paintings have a childlike feel to them.

It is a very imaginative fantasy worlds with some truly original ideas and a very unique feel to it. I like the ideas in this and I like the descriptions but that’s pretty much what I like. I don’t care too much for the story, because it seems to have no purpose, other than to set up the next book in the series. I know the whole ‘journey to fnarg and saving the world’ is old, but it has some kind of a goal. The main character in this is just sort of being thrown around and meeting different people and seeing stuff and then fleeing from the Big Bad. It’s cool enough to get around the setting, but it does nothing for me. I like the setting but not enough that I want to read the next book in the series. Sorry.

The characters are likeable enough, I will say. They’re mostly weird creatures that are very imaginative, but they don’t have much in the way of personality. The main character is a bland Chosen One-type of character and while I just regretted this is not a typical journeyish story, I would not regret if the main character wasn’t some kind of ‘Chosen One’. I don’t like Chosen Ones. The last book I read with a super spechul Chosen One was friggin’ Marked, and the less said about that travesty, the better. While this main character, Candy, is less annoying than Zoey Redbird, it’s because she’s bland, not because she’s more interesting. The side characters are the most fun – even the villains happen to be quite good fun. Their designs are cool and they have more depth than Candy. Nothing stands out much, though, which is a shame – this fantasy world has a lot of potential.

In the end, what really made me dislike this the most was the – if you ask me – unnecessary grittiness of this. When I’m saying that the fantasy world has potential, I mean that I had a potential to enjoy this, but Barker wouldn’t friggin’ let me. He showed me this amazing world and then he slapped me in the face with gems like a dragon vomiting over a ship as a sort of attack and the Big Bad thinking he’s going to fall in love with the main character who is flipping thirteen. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? This is such a dark, cruel story, and while fantasy worlds aren’t necessarily all light and happy, at least give me something nice to hold on to! I want to experience a beautiful world, not to read about paedophilia and vomiting dragons. It’s like this book is so mean spirited, so needlessly cruel. One second it’s funny animals with ladders for legs (I quite liked that one) and tarrie-cats, the next it was peeing octopodes and dead tarrie-cats and vomiting dragons (and I did not make a word of this up, honest to Austen I didn’t).

I didn’t hate this book; I just didn’t like it all that much. The two stars are for funny descriptions and the ladder-leg-thingy (seriously, how cool was that thing and he only mentioned it once) and an original fantasy world. If there’d been a good story and characters that lived up to the setting, it might have been better. But most of all, I’d like to not be bombarded with vomiting dragons, thank you very much.

I like the ladder legs thingy, though. Did I mention?

The Colour of Magic by Terry Pratchett

Week 6 and I’m very much ahead of schedule – I finished this book yesterday and I’m almost halfway through the Hobbit – yay for easter holiday! But without further ado, let’s dive into my review of Terry Pratchett’s ‘The Colour of Magic’.

Title: The Colour of Magic
By: Terry Pratchett
Pages: 285
Published by Corgi, 1998, London
First published 1983

On a world supported on the back of a giant turtle (sex unknown), a gleeful, explosive, wickedly eccentric expedition sets out. There’s an avaricious but inept wizard, a naive tourist whose luggage moves on hundreds of dear little legs, dragons who only exist if you believe in them, and of course THE EDGE of the planet…

***

Rating on Goodreads: (liked it)

Even before I read a review saying sir Terry Pratchett is ‘the Douglas Adams of fantasy’, that’s what I started calling him in my head. We like a bit of Douglas Adamsy writing, right?

First things first: I sort of expected one story, one plot, one quest or something of the sorts, but this book is actually, if I’m not mistaken, a collection of shorter stories that all have the same main characters and which happen in order. It’s not a bad thing – it just took me by surprise when I read it and it somehow muddled up my reading experience a bit because I read it as one thing while it was another.

Enough of that, this world is incredible. Terry Pratchett has an imagination that’s practically as twisted as Douglas Adams’ – he comes up with the most incredible people, the most crazy situations, the weirdest magical beings and artifacts and this book left me sorry that I didn’t think of these ideas myself. They’re magnificent. If anyone knows where I can buy an imagination like this, let me know!

What I see most people commenting on is how funny the book is. As is often said as well, it’s not ha-ha-rolling-on-the-floor-laughing funny, but it made me smile and I often say that’s a rare and precious thing in litterature.  It is, we don’t necessarily need a reason to laugh out loud at books, but an involuntary smile here and there, I think, is very precious indeed.

Really, the writing, the humour, and the characters did most for me during the reading of this. The writing is highly engaging, twisting and turning and all over the places – the descriptions are vivid and unique, the humour I’ve already applauded and the characters are really good fun. There isn’t a fantasy clichée that Pratchett hasn’t turned into something funny and original and this he did in the 80s. Right now, imagine me looking sternly over me glasses at all fantasy writers because they’re using the clichées Pratchett made fun of in the 80s.

It is with some regret and shame I say that because of the different storylines I had some trouble following the plot. I know that’s mostly because I was expecting a different sort of story and because this isn’t your typical fantasy story. Letting your attention slip while reading this is not recommeneded. Unfortunately, it put me off the story a bit, and if I didn’t know that his books are very much loved by a lot of people, it might have discouraged me enough to give up on the whole story. For now, I’m telling myself that I’m just not smart enough to enjoy this fully.

With all this said, this is a nice book and I like it. It’s a quick read, it’s funny and with funny characters and though it’s a bit confusing, I blame that on my lacking attention span. Give it a shot if you feel like fantasy always makes you cry and roar instead of giggling to yourself.

A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin

Week 4 and I ended up devouring about half of A Game of Thrones in one sitting, which is a bad idea. My perception of reality was a little blurred, having spent so long in a fantasy world. So we’ll try not to do that in the future, kay? Anyway, let’s review this mother of a book!

Title: A Game of Thrones
By: George R. R. Martin
Pages: 803
Published by Harper Voyager, 1996, London

In the game of thrones, you win or you die

As warden of the north, Lord Eddard Stark counts it a curse when King Robert bestows on him the office of the Hand. His honour weighs him down at court where a true man does what he will, not what he must… and a dead enemy is a thing of beauty. The old gods have no power in the south, Stark’s family is split and there is treachery at cour. Worse, a vengeance-mad boy has grown to maturity in exile in the Free Cities beyond the sea. Heir of the mad Dragon King, deposed by Robert, he claims the Iron Throne.

***

Rating on Goodreads: (It was amazing)

Least. Accurate. Description. Ever. Though, when it’s this book, I completely get why it’s so hard to sum up. I, myself, am at a loss as to how I best review this thing.

But well, first things first, let’s talk about writing. I’m not normally too keen on detailed descriptions but dammit if they don’t work for Martin. The scene is set so vividly, I feel I’ve been to Westeros myself. The characters are the most enganging, entertaining characters I’ve experienced since Harry Potter.

And they’re really the most magnificent thing about the book. I feel like they’re old friends now that I’ve read the book – I know their motivations, personalities, their friends and enemies. I care for them and I weep for them, as Mr. Martin apparently doesn’t care who suffers and who dies.

Seeing as I love the characters so much, the story is also so much more appealing and it seems to me there’s everything in this story. I believe I expected endless scenes of wars and battling and though there is wars and battling, it’s not drawn out. And even if I’m not that big on wars in books, they didn’t bother me much in this case. Because in between the wars there are stories of love, friendship, loyalty, betrayal, horror, magic, growing up – everything. To make matters even better, Martin starts out seeming like he’ll comform to fairy tale stereotypes and then he just scrambles your head as the story takes some very unexpected twists and turns. I’m rarely surprised by books but Martin did it. Yeeeah!

It’s pretty much the ultimate fantasy book. Wonderful settings, living and breathing characters, lots of different stories and of course action. I loved the quiet beginning that eases you into the setting and the Stark family and I loved the ending that finished it all off with a bang. I loved the magnificent characters, I loved the unpredictable storyline, the vivid description, I loved Tyrion Lannister!

Eyup, I’m definitely a fan.

Tales of Unease – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Week 1 and I’m already one down which means I’m ahead of schedule! Woo! To be fair, this is one of my cheaty-books… I’d already been reading this for many weeks and I just added it as my first to get it over with (not in a negative sense, I really like it). So here it is: My (sort of) review of the collection of short stories “Tales of Unease” by the great and mighty sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

Title: Tales of Unease – Tales of Mystery and the Supernatural
By: sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Pages: 208
Published by Wordsworth Editions Ltd. 2008, London.

Selected and with an introduction by David Stuart Davies

This gripping set of tales by the master storyteller Arthur Conan Doyle is bound to both thrill and unnerve you.

In these twilight excursions, Doyle’s vivid imagination for the strange, the grotesque and the frightening is given full rein. We move from the mysteries of Egypt and the strange powers granted by The Ring of Thoth to the isolated ghostlands of the Arctic in The Captain of the Polestar; we encounter a monstrous creature in The Terror of Blue John Cap and the beings that live above our head in The Brazilian Cat and The Leather Funnel; and we shudder at the thing in the next room in Lot 249.

***

My rating on Goodreads: (It was amazing)

Classics equal no reviews in my world. It may seem silly but I don’t feel entitled to review the likes of sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

I’ll say though, that it’s a shame for people to only ever read the stories about Sherlock Holmes – do yourselves a favour and pick up not only the great mr. Holmes but also a collection of short stories such as this one. Doyle is a brilliant storyteller in his own right.

My favourite from this collection is the shortest one: “How It Happened.” In a few pages, Doyle managed to knock the wind out of me when I realised that it wasn’t any longer. The story is as striking as it is short. I really like it. I wasn’t scared by any of the stories, really, but that’s just me – I’ve never been honest to God scared by a book. This is no defect on Doyle’s part. If you’re easily scared by ghost stories in general I’m sure Doyle will deliver.

To sum up, Doyle is the king of effective imagery, ghost stories and timeless tales. Give some of his works, also other than Sherlock Holmes, a try when you get the chance – it’s well worth it!